When do you let them fall?



Over the past several months my eldest spawn have brought it to my attention that they find me controlling and overbearing and maybe…well, not maybe, a wee bit judgmental as well. This knocked me on my ass to be honest. In careful questioning, it turns out that when they have plans or an idea of what they’d like to do, and I can (from my own life experience) see that it is a MAJOR mistake and share that with them…well, they see it as me being unsupportive and harsh.

What is a mom to do? What is the right response when you see your adult child getting ready to do something STUPID? I’ve never forbidden them to follow through with their plan, nor have I put in threats of disowning or punishment.  I’ve just told them my story and the disastrous results that came from a similar action. 

In chating with Bug, and explaining myself and my reasons for my telling my life experiences, she carefully considered my words and said “I want you to tell me. I may not follow your advice, but I want to know if you see me getting ready to do something dumb.” Her brothers however, well, they would like me to keep my pie-hole shut.

Now the question is…if I keep my pie-hole shut good and tight, am I there for the bail out??? Or, does helping with the bailout make me an enabler of dumb moves????

Why did no one tell me that parenting never gets easier…that the worry never ceases…and the urge to protect your young never dies??? <sigh>