“Everyone has something that is a burden…”

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I am in the midst of many huge life changing events. None of them wonderful or something to look forward to with a smile or joyful hope. The most pressing is family trouble which tears at my heart emotionally and keeps me near tears most of the day, but also, a close second, is financial distress. Serious enough that we may lose our home and our attorney has interest only in the money we pay him. For many complicated reasons we are not at liberty to just hire a new lawyer, we are stuck with this jack wagon and our hands are tied. Our mortgage company (who purchased our mortgage years ago) is a well known predatory lender with websites and groups lamenting their unethical standards. I don’t feel good about the outcome.

My family has always been my rock, and as long as all was strong within this bond, well who cares about what challenges life throws at you? My family is my heart and my soul, and right now that bond is tattered and worn. I am trying to weave it back together, but who knows if it will be a success? It’s up to the grace of the Lord and I entreat the Blessed Mother and St. Joseph to hear my cries and take them to their Son to hear my anguish and to bring healing to my clan.

I don’t remember what it is like to feel carefree, secure, or safe. Every morning, when I start to rouse from sleep, there is a moment where all feels right with the world. And then, very slowly I feel a stirring deep inside which, as it gathers force, grabs on to my heart and with each burning turn I feel my heartbeat begin to go faster and faster and faster until, literally, I can feel the pounding in my throat and I struggle to breathe. There is a temptation to sink back into bed, close my eyes, and hide and hope all these troubles will vanish. I don’t. I will confess I am proud of myself each and every day for getting up, getting dressed, getting my son ready for school, and going to work.

About a week ago, I had the great pleasure of taking my son, and his best friend, to see his godfather who is a priest. Papa B (as V lovingly calls him) immediately saw beneath the fake smile and offered words of encouragement, support and comfort. And he said something which has stayed with me since that visit “As a priest, many people come to me with their troubles and you are not alone. Look around, everyone has something that is a burden which feels too much to bear”  

So, in light of a previous post, never have I been so aware that we must link arms, so we can become that wall of strength in the face of the brutal wind that is life. It’s hard to feel connected to others and life when despair is dragging at you, but it is my new daily goal, to ask others “how are you? can I help?” and just maybe that will push the suffocating, gray fog away and let in His light…

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Linking Arms…

                           

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      Sometimes, when in deep prayer, I have what I call dream visions.  They are not dreams of realistic imagines but rather more like animated folk paintings. Much in the style of the one I have here – very beautiful but obviously not something from this reality.

A few weeks ago, I was in deep despair and sadness. There is a lot of back story to that despair, and if not for family and two very dear friends (Shirley and Ben-Ben) I don’t know what would have happened to me overall. But it was through the love of people that I was able to pick myself up eventually and move on with my life.

Right now, it seems everyone I know is having such struggles!  Health, family, financial, employment, social…you name it, and it seems as if forces beyond our control are doing everything they can to beat and bend us under these external pressures.

So, I was in prayer and meditating, especially upon Shirley and Ben-Ben. Asking God to please step in and give blessings. To please work His miracles and extend them upon us because, I’m sorry, sometimes the pressures of life ARE too much to handle!!!

And so, in the midst of this prayer, I suddenly was up so very high in the sky and looking down on this large valley. In this valley were so many people who were all trying to reach a destination but there was such an awful wind! A wind which was pushing them down, buffeting them from all directions, keeping them from their destiny.  I watched these little figures attempt to stand, only to be then violently pushed to their knees over and over and over again. So much hopelessness and despair!

I implored God to help them! Where was He? And all of sudden one of the little figures reached out and strongly and forcefully linked his arm with the next person…who then reached out and linked their arm with the next person and so on and so on…until there was this little concentric circle of people, standing tall and strong against the wind. The wind was still just as violent, but because this linking of people was so tight, so firm, so deliberate that all the wind could do was blow around them. All of them were safe. All of them were taken care of and I realized what He was telling me…

If we all link arms and securely lash ourselves together…if we all provide that support and care and love, then nothing bad in life, nothing external in this world, can ever push us down or keep us away from who we are, what we want, what we need, what our heart desires. Nothing.  

God was telling me that WE are here to do His work and WE can provide for each other and none of us need be alone, we just need to reach out and link ourselves together and more importantly allow others to link their lives with ours. Prayers are then answered. Miracles are then received. 

I invite you all to reach out and link your arms and form your circle of strength…God is with us and in each of us and we, by doing this, will be the Eucharist to each other…